


I Can't Do This...

by Akiko_Natsuko



Series: Fraxus [6]
Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Apologies, Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Friendship/Love, Host Clubs, Love, M/M, Secrets, Stress Relief, Worry, blue pegasus - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-08
Updated: 2018-09-08
Packaged: 2019-08-20 21:10:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16563194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akiko_Natsuko/pseuds/Akiko_Natsuko
Summary: Laxus wasn't the only one struggling to adapt to life in Blue Pegasus and the role of a host, but its only when it becomes too much that he realises that Freed feels the same as he does





	I Can't Do This...

    Freed had been oddly quiet all day, barely interacting with his guests even when some of his regulars came in and he had barely reacted when he had been hauled up for it, he’d made no attempt to talk with Evergreen or Bickslow either when the pair had gone across to try and find out what was wrong with their Captain. Laxus had watched all this from the other side of the guild, thankfully managing to get away with it as his customers were used to him ignoring them. It was something he still didn’t understand, but apparently his silence and standoffish nature was attractive, but he wasn’t going to complain right now as it gave him time to watch his mate, eyes narrowing with concern when Freed flinched away as one of the guests leaned into him. There had been a time when Freed had always avoided contact with other people, clinging solely to Laxus and the Raijinshuu, but Laxus didn’t think he had ever seen the younger man flinch and his concern skyrocketed as he watched the Rune mage muttering an apology to his guest, but made no effort to unfurl from his hunched position.

    It was hard not to just brush off his customers and rush across to Freed, his hands curling into fists under the table as he fought the urge. But this was a job, even if it wasn’t anything like the jobs he was used to or the jobs he would rather be out on, and he knew that Freed would be annoyed with him for blowing that off, no matter how upset he was. _You should worry about yourself for once_ , he thought with a soft sigh, freezing when Freed met his gaze for a moment and he couldn’t quite stop the low growl that rumbled in his chest, not sure what to make of the emotions in his mate’s eyes, but not liking the shadows he could see in the turquoise depths. _Freed…_

   The next hour crept by, and as well as keeping an eye on his mate he found himself having to deal with his customers fussing over him, having heard his growl earlier and worrying about him and he had to grin and bear it as there was no way he was going to tell them it had been because he was concerned for his mate. Still he was more than happy to see them go, having found himself biting back sharp words towards the end, because damn it all his mate was hurting, and he didn’t know why, and he didn’t want to be sat here entertaining random people when he could or should be taking care of Freed. The thought of having to survive through a couple more rounds of this was unbearable, and he was tempted to just say hang it all and take whatever punishment the Master heaped on him later.

   He was halfway out of his seat, intending to do just that when Evergreen dropped into the seat opposite him with a worried expression as she glanced across at Freed for a moment before refocusing on the Dragon-slayer.

“Master Bob said to take him home.”

“Really?” Laxus blinked at that, glancing towards the bar where Bickslow and their Master seemed to be in a rather heated debate about making cocktails…again. He didn’t really know why he was surprised, no matter what he looked like or how he acted most of the time, the older man was incredibly perceptive when it came to his guild members and that had quickly extended to include Laxus and the Raijinshuu. “Tell him thank you.”

“Will do, just take of him,” Evergreen ordered as she glanced at Freed once more, the Rune mage slumped against the back of the bench now that his guests had gone, his gaze fixated on something that only he could see.

“I will,” Laxus promised as he shot to his feet, shooting her a fleeting half-smile before hurrying across the guild, determined to get the Rune mage out of the guild before the next round of guests could try and pounce on them. “Freed?” He asked softly as he reached his partner’s table, eyes narrowing with concern when he didn’t get any sign of a reaction from the younger man and he raised his voice slightly to try and get his mate’s attention. “Freed?!”

“What….?” Freed blinked, looking utterly confused to find Laxus standing right in front of him and that only raised the Dragon-slayer’s concern because Freed was never unaware of his surroundings, even when he was ill and injured he never truly let himself relax to that extent, too worried that something could happen to his teammates if he did. _What is going on in that head of yours?_ He wanted to ask, but now was the place for it and Freed was stirring, colour rising in his cheeks. “Sorry, I…” Freed trailed off after a moment, shaking his head and Laxus sighed and settled for holding out his hand to his mate. As much as he wanted to demand answers right away, he had a feeling that this conversation would go much better in the safety of their own home, in a place where Freed could relax and drop his public mask.

“Come on let’s go home.”

“But…”

“Master Bob said I’m to take you home,” Laxus cut off the protest before it could begin, aware that Freed would try to insist on staying if he didn’t because no matter how stressed or upset he was, or how ill he was, he would still insist on finishing a job even at the cost of his own wellbeing and Laxus wasn’t going to let that happen. Turquoise eyes flickered towards the guild master for a moment, and the Dragon-slayer was sure that he had seen a hint of relief in Freed’s gaze before it was masked by a defeated expression, the younger man’s shoulders slumping before he turned back and reached out to take Laxus’s hand, allowing Laxus to pull him to his feet.

    Laxus caught the way he swayed slightly for a moment, and he shifted so that he was gripping Freed’s arm, letting his mate lean on him. He wanted nothing more than to sweep him up and get him out of here, or at least to wrap an arm around the younger man, but he knew that Freed wasn’t overly comfortable with public displays of affection especially not here. At Fairy Tail their relationship and the need for closeness had been well known and accepted, and whilst they doubted it would be different here, it was still soon for either of them to really open up to that level. Still he didn’t release his mate as he gently guided him towards the door, and he was relieved to realise that Freed was leaning into him more and more with each step. He had been worried that maybe he had done something to upset his mate, but he knew that Freed would never have leant against him if that was the case. Which also raised the issue of why Freed hadn’t reached out to him for help with whatever was bothering him if he wasn’t the problem, and another low growl rumbled in the back of his throat.

_Freed, what is going on with you?_

****

    Freed hadn’t spoken at all on the way home, and Laxus could feel his concern growing by the minute and he was literally having to bite his lip to stop himself from demanding answers as he let them into the house. However, he immediately noticed some of the tension easing out of Freed’s shoulder as the door clicked shut behind them and that immediately made up his mind about what they were doing next. In the safety of their own home he didn’t hesitate in the slightest in wrapping his arm around Freed’s shoulders, squeezing softly before silently guiding his mate up the stairs and into their room, the fact Freed hadn’t even put up a token protest telling him that he had been spot on in working out what his mate needed.

    In the sanctuary of their room he shook of his coat and tossed it on the chair, before reaching out with gentle hands to remove Freed’s sheath and sword, the younger man insisting on carrying it even when they were hosting. The memories of being caught off guard and unarmed when they were working for Yajima had increased Freed’s already cautious behaviour. He set them aside a lot more carefully than he had his coat, before gripping Freed’s shoulder and gently nudging his mate backwards until he hit the bed, the younger man instinctively sinking down onto it. Immediately he pushed Freed onto the other side of the bed, not giving him a chance to argue with him or start second guess what was happening, lying down next to him before wrapping his arms around the still silent Rune mage and pulling him tightly against him. Taking a deep breath before letting his head fall to rest against Freed’s for a few minutes, hoping that the quiet comfort would encourage him to start talking.

“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?” He asked eventually, realizing that Freed was going to be stubborn today. He rolled his eyes at that, who was he kidding, his mate was always stubborn, and he had always been so, and that was a good thing. If Freed hadn’t been stubborn enough to stay by his side even when he was doing his best to push everyone away, then they would never have got to this point and Laxus would probably have been on his own, and his expression darkened as he nuzzled against his mate.

_He’s here. I’m here, that’s all that matters, whatever else is going on we can fix…_

“No….” Laxus blinked, having nearly forgotten all about his question and he sighed at the whispered answer, although he was relieved that Freed had at least responded this time. _Of course, he’s not going to make it easy for me…_

“Freed…” He began softly, only to find himself being cut off as Freed’s arms suddenly crept around him, the younger man pressing so closely against him that it would have been impossible to slip a piece of paper between. Not that he was complaining, at least not until a soft sob rocked the Rune mage a moment later and his eyes widened. Freed had never really been one for tears, but Laxus could smell them now and he could feel dampness soaking into the front of his shirt as Freed burrowed against him. _What the hell is going on?_ It was clear that he wasn’t going to get answers at the moment though, and an unhappy growl rumbled through his chest at that realisation, but he settled for gathering Freed closer, lifting one hand and beginning to run his fingers through green hair.

_Freed…_

**

   Laxus had no idea how long they had lain like that, his arms around his mate and gently playing with his hair. Freed’s tears had dried up a long time ago, the sobs fading away to the odd hiccupping noise that tugged at his heart strings. It was rare that he was allowed to see this vulnerable side of his mate, and whilst it warmed him to know that they had come far enough for Freed to feel comfortable exposing his weaknesses, he wanted nothing more than to find out what had caused this…to fix this… to bring back his stubborn, sarcastic, smiling mate. “I’m sorry…” If it hadn’t been for his enhanced hearing he wouldn’t have caught the whispered apology, and he had to swallow back a snarl at the unnecessary apology, aware that Freed was likely to take it the wrong way in his current mood. Still his voice came out slightly terser than he had intended, and he felt his mate tense slightly as he asked sharply.

“For what?”

“This…”

“Freed,” Laxus sighed, hesitating for a moment before deciding that a more direct approach was going to be needed this time as it was clear that he couldn’t let this continue. Reluctantly he pulled back so that he could see Freed, reaching out with a gentle hand to stop the younger man as Freed immediately tried to turn his head away so that he could hide his face against the pillows. “Talk to me, I can’t fix this if I don’t know what is wrong.”

“It’s nothing,” Freed was refusing to meet his gaze, and Laxus sighed, his heart aching as he studied the pale face and the tear tracks marring his mate’s skin. He brushed gentle fingers across both cheeks, trying to remove the evidence as he knew Freed would hate to be seen in this state. Freed’s expression crumpled at the tender gesture, and before Laxus could react the younger man had lunged forward to hide against him once more. “I can’t do this…”

   Laxus blinked at the whispered admission, having no idea what the younger man was talking about it, but relieved to see at least some sign that he was finally getting somewhere, and he gently wrapped his arms around his mate once more.

“Can’t do what?” He asked softly.

“This…hosting…watching all those women being so close to you,” Freed’s voice darkened for a moment, and his grip tightened on the Dragon-slayer. “Letting them be so close to me…” A small shudder wracked his body at that, and he nuzzled closer to Laxus as he repeated with an edge of desperation. “I can’t do it…”

“Freed…” Laxus sighed softly, he had thought that he was the only one having that issue. He had lost count of the number of times he had wanted to rip one of the guests away from his mate, but he had always managed to suppress the urge thinking that was what Freed wanted, and regret flooded him as he glanced down at his mate… _I should have done it_. He stroked the green hair softly, something that had always helped to relax Freed, before asking the question he wasn’t sure he wanted the answer to. “Has this been bothering you all along?” His breath caught when he felt the tiny nod against his chest, regret blurring with guilt as he realised just how blind he’d been…. _I missed this._ He had been busy adapting to the new guild and new jobs, but that was no excuse for not paying proper attention to his mate, even though Freed should have said something as well. “Why didn’t you say something?”

“We need to be in a guild and this is a good guild,” Freed whispered, sniffling slightly as he leant into the hand in his hair, soaking up the offered comfort. “I thought it would be okay.” He wasn’t even sure why it had been so bad today of all days, nothing out of the ordinary had happened. The guests had been the same as normal, and Laxus hadn’t given any of them a second glance, looking just as awkward and uncomfortable as ever, but for some reason it had just been too much. “I…”

“Shh,” Laxus cut him off gently, hearing the way Freed’s breathing was speeding up and realizing that he was getting overwhelmed. Even after all this time together the younger man wasn’t good at expressing himself, especially when his emotions were already running high. “It’s alright, I understand how you feel…” As much as he hated the fact that Freed had reached this stage, it was a relief to know that he wasn’t the only one struggling with these issues and he worried at his bottom lip for a moment. “We’re going to stay home tonight, and then tomorrow we’re going to find a nice, long job…just the two of us.” Evergreen and Bickslow had taken to hosting like ducks to water and he knew that they would understand the pair of them taking off for a while, especially if he let them know that their Captain was getting overwhelmed, if they hadn’t worked it out already.

“But…”

“It won’t fix everything,” Laxus admitted softly, wishing that it was that easy. However, even if they spend most of their time on other jobs there would still be times when they had to be in the guild itself, and therefore would have to face hosting. But, they had been letting it dominate their work load lately, he realised, it was easy money and it was so different from Fairy Tail that it eased the pain of that loss, but it was also one of the reasons why things had got as bad as they had. “You’re right, we do need to be in a guild and this is a good guild and I don’t want to walk away from this. But, we can balance it better.”

“Really…?” Freed finally pulled back himself to peer up at Laxus, hope shimmering in his eyes. He hadn’t dared to say anything, because he had thought that the older man had got used to hosting, that he was content with how things were, and Freed didn’t want to be the one to rock the boat. Laxus’s expression softened and he reached up to cup Freed’s cheeks, fingers brushing lightly over his lips before he leaned in to kiss him gently, smiling slightly when he pulled back.

“Really.”

“Thank you…” Freed breathed, relief washing over him, and he sniffled as he shifted forward so that he could rest against Laxus’s chest. It hadn’t been something he’d felt he could ask for himself, but it felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders with that suggestion and he tilted his head up so that he could press a small kiss to the underside of the Dragon-slayer’s chin. “Thank you…”

“You’re welcome,” Laxus murmured softly, kissing the top of his head, resisting the urge to point out that doing this was for both of their sakes. Instead he let a hint of sternness seep into his voice as he reached down and gently bopped his mate on the nose. “Next time don’t let it get this bad. Tell me if something is bothering you, I don’t like seeing you like this and not knowing what’s wrong…”

“I’m sorry…”

   Laxus silenced him with a gentle kiss, rubbing their noses together, before resting their heads together and sighing softly. He knew that he was just as guilty of not saying when something was bothering him, only Freed was much better at reading him and could always work it out before he got to the point of falling apart completely. However, that was something to talk about later because he could feel Freed beginning to relax against him, exhaustion tugging at him after a long day of working and his breakdown earlier and to be honest he just wanted to treasure the feeling of being curled with his mate, something that they seemed to have had less and less time for lately. No wonder it got too much, he thought, feeling Freed’s breathing beginning to ease out and he let out a soft sigh before letting his own eyes drift shut, burying his nose in his mate’s hair and letting Freed’s scent wash over him, promising that he was going to find them the longest possible job as he followed his mate into sleep.

_Together, always…_


End file.
